Chinese Oddities

There are many aspects of life in China that are just plain strange. Not quite a full story, they do deserve to be mentioned in brief because of their sheer hilarity and oddity to someone from the outside.

Utilities

Our hot water heater is tiny- about the size of a cutting board and uses visible flames to warm the water (except that it is always broken- so we shower at the gym- whether or not we are actually exercising).

Building heat in China is nationally regulated- this year it was supposed to come on either November 1^st or 15^th. The actual date was unclear, thus our apartment was pretty chilly and there was nothing we can do about it! Thankfully when it snowed briefly on November 3^rd the government sympathized and flipped the heat switch.

Home electricity here is odd as well. It works like a go-phone: you have a card (in our case a wand) that you deposit money onto by going to any bank teller. When your prepaid amount runs out your power shuts off. We didn’t know how to read our meter when we arrived, so we enjoyed a night or two in dark before we figured it out and recharged.

Bikes

The number of bicycles in Beijing is overwhelming- it almost feels like they are as populous as Beijingers themselves. Wherever you go tight rows of bikes line sidewalks, block entrances, linger in their own specialty sheds and pile up in huge mountains created by angry patrol guards. Of course to add to the madness I have a bike of my own. After my first shiny new bike was stolen I realized that is more popular to buy an old, used, beat up looking bike- so it won’t attract thieves! On the flip side, if you do actually buy a new bike many people leave the plastic packaging attached to all the metal bars to show off their new purchase. I would guess they bought hefty new locks as well! Lastly, in Beijing bicycles are actually two man vehicles! Almost every other bike that whizzes by has a friend precariously perched on a little grate above the rear tire. It is funny to see the bikes wobble with the extra weight and especially to see someone jump on the back of a moving cycle. Sidesaddle or straddle- who cares, with 1.3 billion people in China everyone’s got somewhere to go and bikes seem to be the most popular and feasible option.

Baby Bottoms

Un-potty trained children in China all wear bizarre little shorts/pants that have a slit in the crotch. When this child needs to go to the bathroom, they are trained to squat wherever they may be- public or private- and their shorts will automatically split open and allow them to do their business on the spot. It is really a hilarious sight- be it summer or winter- to see a fully clothed child running around with half his/her bottom showing.

A quick story on the theme~

Recently a friend and I spotted a small child squatting over a sidewalk newspaper (he had pulled his crotchless shorts down) when two Chinese businessmen approached the black Mercedes he was crouched next to. The men tried to awkwardly shimmy past the tiny boy, but with no parent in sight the child froze on the spot, pants still down. The men’s feet, car door and child’s face hovered within inches of each other for an uncomfortable 7 minutes until the child’s father finally appeared and whisked him off, dissolving what was one of the most awkward scenes I have witnessed in China.

Homelessness

There are surprisingly few homeless people in Beijing’s streets, but the few that exist are always flanked by small puppies. Rumor has it they sell their puppies when they get too big and bargain for younger ones.

Spitting

Spitting is an unsavory but constant part of life in China. Every few minutes you will hear men around you making loud guttural noises as they prepare to hurl phlegm onto the street- side walk- subway floor- or right next to your feet.

Rush Hour

All Beijing subway lines have metal detectors you have to run your belongings through before you can enter the station. Yet I have never seen anyone questioned or detaining due to this ‘safety measure’- maybe it represents a false sense of security? Additionally this extra checkpoint can cause station entrance rush hour lines to pile up several blocks out the door. Once you finally make it inside to the platform it is relatively uncrowded, despite the 30 minute wait to get in. Getting on a peak train is probably worst of all- people will pack into a subway car or bus until bodies are so tight literally nobody can breathe. I have even witnessed people hurl themselves at a crowded subway car and bounce back. Also when the subway doors open at the next stop those on the platform push into the car immediately and don’t allow any time or space for anyone to exit the subway car, so sometimes it is impossible to get out! Really it is no less than a nightmare. I often feel maimed at the end of the day after my 1.5 hr commute home from various art districts.

Amusement

Instead of a small knit ball filled with grain, children’s hacky sacks in China are made of tall multi-colored feathers attached to weighted disk on the bottom. It is so cute to see the school kids across the street punting these fanciful toys in the air during recess.

Beauty

I have found in Beijing that cosmetic items and services are disproportionately more expensive than everyday Chinese products and similar products in the US. For example my bicycle cost rmb 150 (about $24) and the cheapest tube of drugstore mascara costs rmb 130 (about $21), whereas in the US you can buy cheap mascara for $6. Getting your nails done is also much more complicated than at home. Hidden expenses pop up at every moment- the price is raised depending on the brand of polish, whether you want base and coats and if you use the drying machine. Suddenly a simple polish change becomes a luxury expense.

Food

Rising obesity rates in China may or may not have anything to do with the fact that McDonalds, KFC and other popular fast food chains deliver! Right to your front door. These chains are also often open 24hrs a day and are a popular place for students (at least in Wudaokou- a college area) to fall asleep during the early morning hours if their roommates have kicked them out in favor of a love tryst.

There are many bizarre foods to sample in Beijing, but one of the common street snacks that I think Ill never get used to is boiled goose heads. It is strange to see a fashionable young girl waltzing outside the mall hand in hand with her boyfriend as she gnaws on a goose head snack.

Materials

In Beijing to-go food is usually placed in small plastic bags instead of the boxes we are accustomed to in the US. Often people plop their bagged food directly into a bowl- bag and all. Although a very normal way to eat small vendor food in China, this habit somehow appears strange to me.

Instead of doors almost all entrances to Chinese stores, restaurants and malls feature curtains made of thick, wide plastic strips that one would associate with a meat market or walk-in restaurant fridge. These grubby plastic strips are pretty unsightly, but maybe help to keep the heat/cool in/out? I wish my gallery had these! Our huge bronze doors are wide open all day long letting the 40-degree weather constantly flow over me at the front desk. Nothing like wearing your coat inside all day!

Something I find innovative is that little parks and some sidewalks throughout Beijing’s residential areas sport public exercise machines. It is disorienting but pleasant to walk down a street and see someone huffing away on a manually powered, brightly painted, metal elliptical-like machine.

Beijingers who drive for a living often wear thin white gloves when they are at the wheel. Whether they are manning a taxi, bus, subway or semi-truck, it is delightful to see these often gruff hardy men wearing delicate, if grungy, white gloves as they maneuver the city’s chaotic streets.

Numbers

Have you ever noticed in the US that buildings often do not have a 13^th floor? Well in China there is no fourth floor. In Mandarin, the word for ‘four’ sounds vaguely like the word for ‘death’ and therefore the number 4 is unlucky and widely avoided. In contrast, the number 8 is considered to be very lucky. When I bought my Chinese cell phone plan I was confused when they allowed me to personally select my cell phone number. Julia explained that this was so I could pick a number that had many 8s and few 4s- clearly number significance continues past superstition and actually effects daily elements of Chinese society.

Internet Censorship

If you are reading this sentence then you either take internet censorship for granted or you own a VPN. In China, my blog is censored. All of the websites I visit on a daily basis when living in the US are unavailable and inaccessible to me in China- that is without an out of country proxy internet server- called at VPN. Thus in China I pay for internet twice! Once to get online and again to remove all the firewalls. Please, when you go on gmail, google, nytimes, facebook, blogs, youtube or twittr think of everyone in China who’s IP address shows up ‘unavailable’ when they visit these sites. Recently during the November National Party Congress the internet was so heavily censored that even my VPN wouldn’t work. Which is why I haven’t posted in so long!